I just don't have time for this

I'd say the past week because that's what I remember, but it's probably been more like the last few months, I've had a hard time keeping it together. I've been very busy with work (World of Whimm) and the kids. I just don't have time for Fibromyalgia.

I know, it's not my choice. But I'm tired of not sleeping through the night. I wake up at least 6-8 times and every time I have trouble getting myself back to sleep. Every fold in the sheets, my clothes, the pillow irritate me. They either cause and uncomfortable pressure that seems to throb or they send pain through my body. It's very hard to block these things out when all you are doing is lying there watching your husband (and sometimes daughter) sleep.

Lately, I've had nausea on top of it. I'm sure it's stemming from my lack of sleep. I've been trying to catch quick naps during the day and I think they are helping me get through those evening hours, but I'm sure it's not helping me at night.

The good news is that the weather is clearing up (for now) and Robbie is starting to get a little more excited about being outside. I'm hoping a little sun and a little more activity will help with the sleep. Because I just don't have time for all this right now!

Boiling Point

The biggest sign to me that I'm not doing so well, is my anger. I've grown so accustomed to many of my symptoms and blocked them out that sometimes I'm not even aware of them until I either sit down or until I hear myself getting angry at the kids.

There is a definite difference between normal anger and Fibro-induced anger. First of all, I don't seem to have in myself to do repeated warnings. Once and that's it. I have a very short fuse. Second, I'm a bit explosive and my voice gets angry and loud. Third, the anger does not last very long.

I'm going to say luckily... but I'm not sure it a good thing... the kids listen to this voice. It makes Lyssie lower her head and look at the ground (she doesn't stop what she's doing... but she does make me feel bad). Robbie will finally stop what he's doing. Today he said he was just going to just sit in a little hole between the shelf and the tv. I asked him why and he said "because I don't want to do anything to get you mad".

It really goes to show the power of your voice and tone. I just need to learn to use it effectively... and my kids need to learn to listen!

It's been a while

It's been a while since I've posted. Not since I've had Fibromyaliga issues unfortunately... just since I've had enough energy to blog about it. I hate complaining and that's what this blog is. It's a journal of my symptoms... so a list of complaints.

I'd sum up what I've been through since my last blog (September!), but I honestly, can't even remember last week. I can, however, remember that I slept 2 hours a few nights back and last night I almost got 4 hours of sleep. I am able to fall asleep... then something (my daughter) wakes me up, and it's over. I just can't fall asleep. And this time, it's so bad, that I know I won't be falling asleep.

I've also been doing fairly well with my new business (www.worldofwhimm.etsy.com) and received a wholesale order. My first and possibly my last. I just don't know if I can physically do it. A wholesale order assumes that I can work consistently.

The good news is that the sleep is bothering me more than any other symptom I've currently been having. My back has locked up a few times... but I don't think that's the Fibromyalgia. I think I just have bad back.